Team America: World Police

"Remember, there is no 'I' in Team America."  "Yes, there is."  From the creators of South Park, we get... this.  It's a puppet movie... for adults.  And the puppets all have deliberately crappy motion (because, y'know, they're freakin' puppets) and little puppet clothes and weapons and everything.  And they have to stop a puppet of Kim Jong-il (R.I.P., little one) from doing... something terrible to the puppet world (which in this case is the real world, just with puppets).  Do you think I'm overdoing the whole puppet thing?  Anyways, it's rude, it's crude, but it's hilarious.  EVERYTHING is hilarious.  And, much like South Park, there is a valuable lesson to be learned (which conservatives seem to really like).  Not for the faint of heart.

Rating: 76/100

Transformers

"One shall stand, one shall fall." An update of the classic 1980s cartoon, Michael Bay's big-screen interpretation of the franchise gets a lot of things right. For starters, Peter Cullen (who voiced Autobot leader Optimus Prime, as well as Ironhide, in the original cartoon) returns to bring Prime to life for a new generation of fans. In addition, the characters are mostly ones from the original show, and retain many of the personality traits that made them so distinct (Starscream is a traitorous jet, Ratchet is the medic, etc.), and the classic transformation sound is reused. But enough with nostaglgia; let's get on with the review.
Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is your ordinary teenaged boy, living in a suburban home with Mom, Dad, and Mojo (his dog). One day, he gets a car. Turns out, this is no ordinary car, but rather Bumblebee, an Autobot who has been assigned to protect Sam, because the Decepticons want him - dead or alive.  Cue everything blowing up (it IS a Michael Bay movie, after all).  Good fun, and a great way to spend a couple of hours.

Rating: 90/100

Grease

Grease is an awesome movie.  It's one of those rare musicals that actually translates extremely well for adults (and by that, I mean that Grease is NOT a juvenile movie).  Based on an extremely raunchy stage play that became a massive hit on Broadway, Grease generally follows the path of standard musical romance movies, but actually deals with what the men in the stories really want: sex.  I know I'm being blunt here, but that's what Grease really is about: sex, sex, and sex.  With song lyrics like "you know that I ain't braggin'/she's a real pussy wagon" ("Greased Lightning"), you can't mistake it for anything else.  This is also one of the few movies that actually deals with real issues in high school (notably teen pregnancy).  Often thought of as a kiddie flick (when it really is anything but), Grease is probably my favorite musical of all time, beating out the remake of Hairspray by a wide margin (and I really liked Hairspray).

Rating: 87/100

Wonder Woman

I liked this movie, even though I barely know anything about Wonder Woman (or most superheroes, for that matter - I don't tend to read comic books).  It's good, however, to see a superhero movie that's not too juvenile (like the Spider-man films) and actually involves someone who has superpowers (unlike Batman or Iron Man).  The animation of the movie is superb (although the F-22s at the beginning of the movie, while recognizable, are poorly done), and the voice acting is of a high quality.  I actually was able to get into the movie quite readily, in spite of having little prior knowledge of any of the characters.  However, in spite of the relative ease of viewing for non-fans, I'm sure that hardcore fans will find stuff in here that will keep them watching.  If you have the time, give this one a look.

Rating: 80/100

The Notebook

"What happens if a car comes?"  "We die."  I like this movie.  I don't care what people may say, I like this movie (for the record, I'm a straight male).  I don't understand what other guys don't like about this movie - it's very charming, and quite steamy at times (don't get too excited though, you pervs).  While there have been many romantic films before The Notebook (and many since), what makes The Notebook so special is its simplicity, and the chemistry between its leading players.  No plot description is needed - this story has been done millions of times through the ages.  As cliched as it is, The Notebook is still an excellent movie, and should be required viewing for everyone in a romantic relationship (or wishing to be in one).

Rating: 95/100

Mystery Team

"If life was fair, I would have gotten a new bike for my birthday instead of that stupid car!"  Oh, what to say about Mystery Team?  The best way to sum it up would be to say that it's like Encyclopedia Brown, The Hardy Boys, or "Scooby-Doo," but for adults.  Basic premise is that three childish teenagers (I think they're just about to graduate from high school) have been running a detective agency since they were little kids.  Back then, everyone thought it was cute.  Now, they just think it's stupid.  They'll take on any case for a nickel, they don't swear, drive, do drugs, etc., ride their bikes everywhere, and drink chocolate milk.  Anyways, one day a little girl comes to them and asks them to solve a mystery.  Turns out, her parents were MURDERED.  The team decides to take on the case, believing that it will give them greater credibility.  Although the film relies on a good deal of crude humor, it's still funny.  Kids would probably appreciate it even more (although the movie is explicitly for teens and adults).  A good watch if you want something decent to occupy your time, but there are better films out there.

Rating: 71/100

The Dictator

Not Sacha Baron Cohen's finest effort, but then again, it's virtually impossible to top Borat.  Still, The Dictator is insanely funny (at least for those who are not easily offended), and offers very sharp political satire, particularly about democracy.  Unlike Cohen's previous efforts, The Dictator takes the form of a plot-driven narrative instead of a mockumentary, following Admiral General Hafez Aladeen, the dictator of the North African Republic of Wadiya.  When traveling to New York to make a speech at the U.N. on his country's nuclear capabilities (note: when attacking Israel with nuclear missiles, the warhead must be pointy so that the victims don't think that a giant dildo is flying towards them), he is kidnapped, and then rescued by a kindly hippie.  Aladeen then conspires with his former nuclear director (who was to be executed) to return to power, and prevent his idiotic body double from signing a treaty that would turn Wadiya into a democracy.  Hilarity ensues.

Rating: 90/100