In the world of film, there are good movies and there are bad movies, and some movies that are so bad that they are good. The American version of Godzilla is not a bad movie: it is a really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY awful movie. Calling this a piece of shit would be an insult to shit, which, quite frankly, is a lot more pleasant than this film. I still have to see the original Japanese Godzilla (which, by all accounts, is said to be very good) or any of its sequels (which I have heard vary widely in quality), and I instinctively know that I will enjoy them more than I enjoyed this. Here's your plot: Godzilla comes to New York City and starts tearing up the town. The military tries to stop him, but they fail (and end up firing AIM-9 Sidewinders into the Chrysler Building, since, ya know, heat-seeking missiles don't track cold-blooded reptile/dinosaur/whatever monsters). And then we get the big kicker: there are TWO identical monsters - and they're both pregnant. A submarine kills one of the monsters (yes, I just ruined the movie for you; you're welcome) and some F/A-18s bomb the eggs and then kill the other Godzilla (which got tangled in the Brooklyn Bridge while chasing after a taxi cab). There, I just ruined the movie for you. You're welcome.
I almost forgot to mention this, but there are human protagonists too, but if you actually ARE watching this, then you're probably watching it to see Godzilla tear up the Big Apple.
On the bright side, this is not the worst movie I have ever seen. There, I found something nice to say about it. Oh, and there was a Saturday morning cartoon that served as a sequel (the F-18s missed one of the eggs, of course). Said cartoon was much better-received (surprisingly). Wow, I found two nice things to say about this bloated piece of trash!
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