The Muppets

"What's more illegal, Kermit: kidnapping Jack Black, or destroying the Muppet name for good?"  "Kidnapping Jack Black!"  One of the best movies to have come out in recent years, the triumphant return of our favorite furry friends is marked by a hilarious, toe-tapping good time.  Filled with wonderful songs (hearing The Muppets' renditions of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Fuck You" is truly life-changing) and some really great gags (electric fence, anyone?), plus an 80s robot that still thinks that New Coke and Tab are popular (but then again, was New Coke ever popular?), The Muppets is perfect fun for all ages.  Unless you're some weirdo who hates Muppets, then I would advise you to go see this movie ASAP.

Rating: 93/100

"We all agreed, celebrities aren't people."

Spaceballs

"Out of order?  F*ck!  Even in the future nothing works!"  Another gem from Mel Brooks, sci-fi films (especially Star Wars) are relentlessly parodied in what has got to be one of the most quotable movies ever made.  Filled with all sorts of one-liners and innuendos (it's amazing just how much dirty stuff they got away with, even for a PG-rated film), Spaceballs never fails to tickle my funny bone.  Although pretty stupid (okay, incredibly stupid), it's still really good, and features excellent acting (John Candy's portrayal of the elusive Mawg [half-man, half-dog; in other words, its own best friend] is legendary).  Definitely worth a look.

Rating: 86/100

A Man Called Sarge

"Hey fellas!  There's a Jew up here!"  I am almost at a loss for words.  Never before* have I seen a picture so incredibly stupid as this (and I have seen ALL THREE Jackass films), and it is quite likely I will never see one that is quite as dumb.  Don't even bother with this piece of crap.

Rating: 20/100

*Okay, rarely.

Angus

"Screw 'em."  Finally, a movie that actually depicts what high school really is like.  The story of an overweight football player and perpetual loser, Angus really hits home for this freshman college student (even though I'm much thinner and terrible at football).  When Angus Bethune is "elected" as king of his school's freshman winter ball (with his longtime crush being the queen), it's up to Angus, his grandfather (George C. Scott), and Angus's best friend Troy to improve Angus's image before the big day arrives.  Frequently funny and very touching, this is definitely a treat for all ages.

 Rating: 95/100

"I'm still here, asshole."

The Last Detail

"I am the motherf*cking shore patrol, motherf*cker! I am the motherf*cking shore patrol!" Wonderful acting, a compelling story and script, excellent cinematography, a lively, flute-driven score, and authentic (read: profane) military language, The Last Detail is absolutely breathtaking. Jack Nicholson takes center stage here, giving a performance that is exceptional even by his own standards (the man has several Oscars to his credit, all for acting). Otis Young and Randy Quaid round out the principal cast in this tale of two sailors (Nicholson and Young) assigned to escort a very young sailor (Quaid) who has been convicted of stealing money ($40, to be exact) and has been sentenced to eight years in military prison. The film details the adventures the trio have on their way to the military prison in Kansas.

93/100