Transformers: Dark of the Moon

"I love this car."  The grand finale of the Transformers live-action trilogy, Dark of the Moon is also the greatest.  Having (at the time of writing) just arrived home from the theater, I can say that it was well worth the wait.  Many summer blockbusters have explosions, with clever jokes interwoven with the action, but few have the heart that the Transformers films have.  Marking the triumphant return of Leonard Nimoy to the series (after a 25 year absence), Dark of the Moon is significantly darker and more brutal than its predecessors, with a much meatier plot to boot.  If you look past all the explosions and inappropriate jokes (believe me, there are a few), you'll find a movie that can really hold its own.  A Battleship Potemkin, it is not.  It is, however, an excellent crowd-pleaser, which, if you really think about it, is what many of our most beloved movies really are (here's lookin' at you, Casablanca).

Rating: 85/100

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

"You picked the wrong planet!  GIVE ME YOUR FACE!"  If you loved the first film, you'll probably love this one, too.  If you hated it, there's no way you're gonna like this one.  Basically, Megatron is revived, and the Decepticons launch another attack on Earth.  Like the first one, this one alternates between giddy humor and violent robot action with lots of explosions (or both at the same time).  Not much substance, but it's still pretty good (albeit not as good as the first one).  Oh, and Frank Welker returns as Soundwave.  Yeah, that's pretty much it.  And the quote?  The most EPIC SCENE IN THE MOVIE.

Rating: 81/100

Stepbrothers

"Shut your mouth.  Sh-sh-shut your mouth."  Priceless film about two boys (actually, grown men, but that's a minor detail, no?) who live at home with their single parent until (you guessed it) mom and dad meet, have sex, fall in love, and get married (hence the film's title).  What's so engaging about the film is how Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly manage to confuse you as to their age - at times, you forget that these men are 40, and believe that they are actually 7 or 8 - or younger!  Hell, these guys get bullied by LITTLE KIDS.  Not that they don't completely deserve it - both men are really very sweet individuals - but for much of the film, they act like little asshole toddlers (like the ones that always run wild in stores or airplanes while their parents sit around, not giving a rat's ass what their little runt is doing).  But I digress.
Destined to become a cult classic (much like Spinal Tap or Monty Python and the Holy Grail), Stepbrothers is extremely entertaining, and what it lacks in refinement, it makes up for in comedy.  Just don't attempt to convert your beds into bunk beds.

Rating: 92/100

The Hangover Part II

"It happened again."  Assume, for a moment, that aliens are coming to Earth (if they are not already here).  Now, assume that, if the human race displays great enough intelligence, they will leave our planet in peace, but, if we are idiots, they will destroy us.  Let us hope that their first impression of our race is NOT The Hangover Part II.  Honestly, no one is so frigging stupid that you get so smashed as to lose your friend the day before a wedding AGAIN, right?  Well, apparently our heroes are just that stupid/irresponsible.  This time around, though, Doug is safe.  It's Stu's (soon-to-be) brother-in-law, Teddy, who has gone missing, and the wolf pack must now find him before the wedding.  Did I mention that they lost him in Bangkok, Thailand (which is a VERY large city)?  Yeah, they really screwed the pooch, even worse than last time.  This time, though, there is a monkey, a car chase, and... some other stuff.  Really, really messed up stuff.
Although almost as funny as the first film, The Hangover Part II is basically the same thing recycled in Thailand. If you liked the first film, then you'll love this installment.  If you didn't like numero uno, then you will most definitely HATE this sequel.

Rating: 73/100

The Green Berets

"Brother, this trip is gonna make LSD feel like aspirin!"  Made at the height of the Vietnam War (at a point when public opinion was beginning to turn firmly against the war), The Green Berets gained great controversy for its support of American involvement, as well as its portrayal of competent South Vietnamese soldiers.*  Partially directed by (and starring) John Wayne (who was a steadfast supporter of the war), the film is less inflammatory today, seeing as how the conflict has been over for many years (although one could still imagine that many veterans would probably be upset over the film's content even to this day).  Neither particularly good nor particularly bad, The Green Berets is a decent war film, and an above-average action film (with some surprising martial arts action).  Co-starring Jim Hutton, Aldo Ray, George Takei, and David Janssen, the film deals with a group of American special ops soldiers (nicknamed "Green Berets" for the hats they wear) in Vietnam tackling several missions, including defending a camp and capturing an enemy general.  Extremely violent for its rating (G), the film is quite tame compared to the war films of today (blood squibs are used only in one scene, and deaths mostly involve just falling over with a Wilhelm Scream), not to mention films that would come a year later (such as The Wild Bunch) or even that same year (Bullitt).
Again, this is neither a good film nor a bad film - it's just average.  Makes for a great late-night film when you can't sleep, but otherwise offers little else in the way of high-quality entertainment or art.

Rating: 68/100
*In general, the Army of the Republic of Vietnam (ARVN, or South Vietnamese Army) was poorly trained and cowardly (at least compared to American, South Korean, and Australian counterparts), and was the butt of many jokes.  However, many individual soldiers and units showed great skill and courage on the battlefield,  although there were not enough of these men to stop South Vietnam from being overrun by the Communist North Vietnamese in 1975.