Jackie Brown

"Is she dead, yes or no?" "Pretty much." Another little gem from Tarantino, Jackie Brown is surprisingly not based on something from Tarantino's twisted mind; rather, it is based on the novel Rum Punch by Get Shorty author Elmore Leonard (incidentally, Tarantino was once caught trying to shoplift Rum Punch as a teenager!) The film revolves around a complex plot involving the transfer of money to firearms dealer Ordell Robbie (Samuel L. Jackson), by flight attendant Jackie Brown (Pam Grier). After being caught by the police, Brown, along with bail bondsman Max Cherry (Robert Forster), must help bring Robbie to justice. Robert De Niro, Bridget Fonda, and Chris Tucker also have roles in this delightful film, which, as with all Tarantino films, has an absolutely spectacular soundtrack, full of catchy songs.

Rating: 3.5/4

The Expendables

"What's his fucking problem?" "He wants to be president." (Just to let you know, this quote is in reference to the Governator of California (who makes a cameo in the film)). This movie is awesome. Sure, it's missing a few living stars (Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Ving Rhames, Clint Eastwood, and Jim Brown, just to name a few) and all of the dead ones (such as Lee Marvin and Bruce Lee), but the lineup here is just amazing. Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Steve Austin, Jason Statham are just a few of the many stars of the film, while Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger make cameos (sadly, neither of the latter two kill anyone, let alone hurt a fly). The plot involves a team of mercenaries (the Expendables) getting hired by a man (Willis) (who is really a front for the CIA) to kill an ex-CIA agent named James Munroe (Eric Roberts), who runs a cocaine-producing operation on an island in the Gulf of Mexico. Of course, the Expendables can never have enough firepower (especially Terry Crews, who has a fully-automatic shotgun and a great wit). Of course, character development is not a major priority here (but, seeing as it is a Stallone film, there will be a few dozen sequels for that, judging by the longevity of his Rambo and Rocky series).
One more thing: during the end credits, they played "The Boys are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzie. Hearing that tune in this movie nearly caused me to shed manly tears of manliness, as it was just SO right.

Rating: 3/4

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

"I don't wish to be forward but we'd like to exchange cars with you. So the faster you get out, the better it'll be for your ass." One of the most entertaining and well-acted crime films I've seen, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is charming and, in spite of its age (it was made in 1974), surprisingly fresh. A young ne'er-do-well named Lightfoot (Jeff Bridges) and a former thief in hiding named John "Thunderbolt" Doherty (Clint Eastwood) hatch a scheme to rob an armored car company that Thunderbolt had robbed many years prior. A couple of Thunderbolt's old "buddies" (George Kennedy and Geoffrey Lewis) force their way into the scheme, and the heist is on.
A great little picture, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is one of those rare films that can appeal to anyone and everyone.

Rating: 3/4

Piranha 3D

It has been done: Saving Private Ryan meets Beach Party (the old ones, with Frankie Avalon). Piranha 3D combines the beach-babe-bikini "appeal" of those older Disney flicks with the gore of the initial landing scene in Saving Private Ryan. A remake of the 1978 horror/comedy film Piranha (which was itself an affectionate spoof of Jaws), this is not the first remake of the original (which also had a sequel, directed by James Cameron). But enough about those films; let us "dive" into Piranha 3D (actually, it would be best to get OUT of the water).
A couple of million years ago, a type of especially carnivorous and bloodthirsty piranha went extinct. Supposedly. Well, they're back with a vengeance, and they've set their sights on a little lakeside town that is a HUGE spring break destination. Add to this two intertwining plots, lots of babes in bikinis, and enough fake blood and gore to make Sam Peckinpah blush, and you've got one helluva film. The town's sheriff, Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) and her deputy (Ving Rhames) are investigating the death of a local fisherman when they discover his mutilated body. Of course, they do nothing (even though they know something's "fishy"). Sheriff Forester's son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen, the grandson of the Steve McQueen) is given a job as a location scout for a man (Jerry O'Connell) who is filming a Girls Gone Wild-esque film with gorgeous girls Crystal and Danni (Riley Steele and Kelly Brook). His best friend Kelly Driscoll (Jessica Szohr) comes along on the boat for the shoot. Anyways, the piranhas kill a bunch of drunk teenage party-goers, Jake and Kelly hook up, Eli Roth and Richard Dreyfuss make cameo appearances, Jake becomes a hero, Danni and Crystal go swimming naked, and Ving Rhames opens up a MASSIVE can of kick-ass on the piranhas (and by "massive," I mean a shotgun and a motorboat; it's incredibly awesome).
Ving Rhames deserves an Oscar nod for Best Supporting Actor, and this movie deserves an "NC-17" rating (although I don't think any rating would quite fit this film). If you love overly-gory films, then this is your Holy Grail.

Rating: 3/4

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

"Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?" A great film through and through, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is at once funny, exciting, and beautiful. Set in the late 1890s in the American West (specifically Wyoming), the leaders of the Hole in the Wall Gang, Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) and the Sundance Kid (Robert Redford) are planning a big bank robbery. Upon returning to their hideout, they find that Butch has been replaced as leader of the group. After reasserting control, the gang decides to rob a train not once, but twice. The first robbery goes well; the second, not so much. Chased down by a posse, Butch and Sundance flee to Bolivia, where they continue their life of crime.
Also starring Katherine Ross, the film won four Academy Awards, including for the song "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head." A great film for movie lovers of all ages, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is timeless.

Rating: 4/4

The Battle of Shaker Heights

"I mean, it's not my fault the teachers here suck." Witty, charming, and pleasing to watch, The Battle of Shaker Heights is a wonderful indie flick about a high school student who's really big into reenacting World War II battles. The student, Kelly Ernswiler (Shia LaBeouf), is bullied at school, and ignored by his parents at home (his father is a recovering junkie, and his mother is an art instructor). He meets up with friendly rich kid Bart Bowland (Elden Henson) who is just as enthusiastic about reenacting as Kelly. Bart is also ignored by his parents. In addition to shining some light on the hobby of war reenacting, the film also features a romantic triangle between Kelly, the girl who likes him, and Bart's older sister (who is getting married), whom Kelly has a bit of a crush on. One of the best scenes in the film (and arguably the funniest) is a "raid" on the house of a kid who constantly bullies Kelly. Also, there is Kelly's jeep, which, suffice it to say, does not like to start up too often.
Great fun for the whole family, check this out on DVD or Independent Film Channel (IFC).

Rating: 3.5/4

Area 88 (OVA)

The best anime I have ever seen, Area 88 (the original video animation) is a gripping tale of love, war, and betrayal. Young pilot Shin Kazama has it good: he's on his way to becoming the top pilot of Yamato Airlines, and his girlfriend is the daughter of the head of the company. One night, he and his fellow trainee/best friend Kanzaki go out drinking to celebrate their last night in Paris before returning to Japan. Shin gets drunk, and Kanzaki dupes him into signing up for the Royal Aslan Air Force in the Middle East (Aslan is torn by civil war). Now, to get back to Japan, Shin must earn 1.5 million dollars through flying missions and killing enemies. There are many other pilots at the base, including Mickey Simon, a Vietnam veteran who served in the U.S. Navy. In spite of many setbacks, Shin is determined to return home, and will stop at nothing to earn his freedom.
Filled with realistic aircraft, including the F-4, F-5, F-14, F-16, MiG-21, A-4, F-8, and many, many more, Area 88 is excellent for fans of military aviation and anime in general.

Rating: 4/4

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room." A black comedy from Stanley Kubrick, Dr. Strangelove is considered a masterpiece of American cinema. Starring Peter Sellers, Slim Pickens, Sterling Hayden, Peter Sellers (again), George C. Scott, and Peter Sellers (yet again), the plot begins when renegade (and deranged) American Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (Hayden) (yes, this is supposed to be funny) initiates an attack on the Soviet Union. His executive officer, Group Captain Lionel Mandrake of the Royal Air Force (Sellers) (an exchange officer), orders Ripper's squadron of nuclear-armed B-52 Stratofortress bombers to penetrate Soviet airspace. His reason for launching the attack: he believes the Soviets are conspiring to contaminate American water, thus contaminating people's "precious bodily fluids."
When word reaches President Merkin Muffley (Sellers, in his second role) of the raid, he immediately attempts to contact the Russian premier. Unfortunately, the Russian leader is quite drunk, forcing him to negotiate with the Soviet ambassador, Alexei de Sadesky (Peter Bull). General Buck Turgidson (Scott) does not trust the ambassador, however, leading to some conflict. Eventually, Muffley decides to help the Soviets shoot down the bombers. It is then that a horrible secret is revealed: the Soviets had built a doomsday machine that will essentially cause the end of life as we know it if the Soviets are attacked (they built it because they thought the Americans had one). According to weapons expert (and ex-Nazi) Dr. Strangelove (Sellers, yet again), the device will also spread its deadly radiation if any attempts to deactivate it are made.
Eventually, Muffley orders the U.S. Army to arrest Ripper and get the recall codes. I'll stop now, since I don't want to spoil the rest of the plot. From the opening scene of a B-52 being refueled in flight by a KC-135 Stratotanker (in a scene that, judging by the heavy use of sexual innuendos throughout the film, can only be interpreted as being representative of intercourse) to the ending montage (which replaced the original pie-fight ending), Dr. Strangelove is consistently suspenseful, sensual, and very funny. By the way, look for James Earl Jones as the bombardier of Slim Pickens' B-52 (he's the only black guy on the plane, so it should be easy to spot him).

Rating: 4/4

The Delta Force

"Sleep tight, sucker." A well-made (if somewhat cheesy) action film starring Lee Marvin and Chuck Norris, The Delta Force makes for good entertainment on a rainy day. After terrorists hijack an airliner and make demands to the United States government that, if not met, will result in the execution of hostages. Even more terrifying is the fact that the passengers are being separated by nationality/religion (with Jews and Israelis being singled out by an unwilling German flight attendant). After flying the plane to Beirut, the Americans send their crack Delta Force squad to Israel, from where they will infiltrate Lebanon, free the hostages, and kill the terrorists. Colonel Nick Alexander (Marvin, in his final performance) and Major Scott McCoy (Norris) lead the assault.
Proving that Democrats and Republicans can work together without problems (Marvin was a liberal Democrat, and Norris is a very conservative Republican), The Delta Force is pure popcorn fare, albeit a well-made flick overall. I highly recommend this for anyone who wants a good adrenaline rush.

Rating: 2.5/4

Airplane!

"Surely you can't be serious." "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." Oh, Airplane!, will you ever cease to amuse? The greatest spoof movie of all time, Airplane! is loaded to the brim with gags both big and small. Many, many air disaster movies are spoofed, as are some non-air disaster ones (such as Silver Streak, with an airplane taking the place of the train). Leslie Nielsen gave such a great performance in this film that he moved from serious acting to doing spoof films (most notably the Naked Gun and Scary Movie series). In addition to Nielsen, Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Robert Stack, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Otto the Autopilot star in the picture. Hays plays a former World War II pilot who has a drinking problem (one of the best gags in the movie; you'll have to see it to believe it). When the pilots (Stack and Abdul-Jabbar) on the airplane he and his ex-girlfriend (Hagerty) are on eat the fish for dinner (which is contaminated), meaning that Hays is the only one on board who can land the aircraft. Otto, of course, plays the inflatable autopilot.

Rating: 3.5/4

1941

"If there's one thing I can't stand seeing, it's Americans fighting Americans." One of the dumbest movies I've ever seen, 1941 isn't really a bad movie; it's just really, really stupid. Granted, it is quite funny, with lots of slapstick humor throughout. Starring John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Ned Beatty, Robert Stack, Bobby Di Cicco, and Toshiro Mifune, 1941 is undoubtedly one of Steven Spielberg's most bizarre creations. Set in the immediate aftermath of Pearl Harbor, the citizens of California are thrown into a state of panic by the threat of Japanese air raids (and even possible invasion). The fact that a Japanese submarine, commanded by Mifune, is in the area (and headed for Hollywood!) does not help matters. Bobby Di Cicco plays the role of local slacker Wally Stephens, who dreams of hooking up with beautiful rich girl Betty Douglas (Dianne Kay). Her father, Ward Douglas (Beatty), does not like Wally (to say the least).
John Belushi takes on the role of Captain "Wild" Bill Kelso, an inept P-40 Tomahawk pilot in the U.S. Army Air Corps. Fellow "Saturday Night Live" performer Aykroyd plays Motor Sergeant Frank Tree, the commander of a U.S. Army M3 Grant tank, and Robert Stack plays the role of Major General Joseph Stilwell. If none of this seems to make sense, don't worry: everything will be cleared up if you watch the movie.
1941 also stars Christopher Lee (as a Nazi adviser on the Japanese sub), John Candy, Kelly Ward, Mickey Rourke, and Warren Oates, with James Caan, Samuel Fuller, and Susan Backlinie making cameos (Caan is uncredited, while Backlinie spoofs her role in Spielberg's earlier film Jaws). John Williams provided this goofy film with an excellent score (which is said to be Spielberg's favorite one of all time).
Don't forget to ask for Babs!

Rating:2/4
Trivia: Spielberg initially wanted either John Wayne or Charlton Heston to play Stilwell. Both declined, as they felt the film was disrespectful to veterans (with Wayne actually calling Spielberg on the telephone to ask him not to make the film!)

Die Hard

"Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister." The first movie in the successful series, Die Hard is based on the novel Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorp, which itself is a sequel to his novel The Detective (which was made into a movie of the same name with Frank Sinatra in the title role). In Die Hard, Willis plays Detective John McClane of the New York Police Department. He has just arrived in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve to reconcile with his wife Holly Gennaro (Bonnie Bedelia), an employee at the giant Nakatomi Plaza building. While both husband and wife are in the building, a group of terrorists, led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), take over the building and take everybody inside (save for a shoeless McClane, who is hidden) hostage while they attempt to steal money from the building's vault, and demanding the release of international terrorists held by authorities in various countries. McClane, of course, fights back, killing the terrorists who come up to the top floor of the building (where he is biding his time, awaiting police aid). His aid comes in the form Sergeant Al Powell (Reginald VelJohnson, a.k.a. "Carl Winslow"), a now-desk bound officer with the LAPD.
I'll shut up now so as not to spoil the rest of the plot, but, suffice it to say, Die Hard is truly one of the best action movies ever made (not to mention the most awesome Christmas movie ever). On an ironic note, Bruce Willis had an early film role as an extra in the film The First Deadly Sin, which starred Frank Sinatra (just look back at the beginning of this review to learn why this is ironic).

Rating: 4/4

Life of Brian

"He's not the messiah! He's a very naughty boy!" Unquestionably the funniest take on religion ever put on celluloid, Monty Python's Life of Brian is amazing. An incredibly witty satire, Life of Brian deals with the trials and tribulations of a man named Brian, who was born at the same time (and in the vicinity of) Jesus Christ (in fact, he is actually briefly mistaken for Jesus at birth. "Wise men" indeed!) The film then zooms forward to a fully-grown Brian, who still lives with his mother. After joining the Peoples' Front of Judea, Brian is somehow mistaken for a messiah, and tries (in vain) to disprove his followers.
All six Pythons (Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin) all play multiple roles in the film (with Chapman spending most of his time as Brian). George Harrison (all four Beatles were Python fans) partially financed the film (and appeared in a small role). This is a must-see not only for Python fans, but also for comedy fans in general.

Rating: 3.5/4

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

"OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!" "YOU BASTARDS!" One of the most vulgar (but by no means THE most vulgar) animated films ever released, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (kudos to those who, by now, have figured out the innuendo in the title) is unbelievable. Filled with raunchy, Disney-esque songs (this is a musical, after all) and the vulgar, often politically-charged humor that is a staple of the show it is based on, the film's plot gets rolling after Stan, Cartman, Kenny, and Kyle (with younger brother Ike in tow) go to see Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire ("a foreign film, from Canada!"). After quoting the vulgar dialogue in the movie at school, the boys get in trouble with their parents, and are sent to rehab with the school counselor Mr. Mackey. Of course, when they're done, they go to see the movie again, after which they attempt to replicate a stunt from the film. Anyways, Kenny is hurt very badly, is taken to the hospital (where South Park fan George Clooney gets a funny cameo role as, of course, a doctor), and dies (this isn't a spoiler, as Kenny usually dies). The boys' mothers then launch a crusade against all things Canadian, leading to a war between the U.S. and Canada. With Satan and his lover, Saddam Hussein, planning to return to Earth, all Hell really is going to break loose... unless Stan, Kyle, Cartman (with a V-chip that shocks him every time he says a cuss word) and (indirect) support from Kenny (who is in Hell) can stop their moms! Eric Idle also has a small cameo as the man who installs the V-chip in Cartman. Unlike some episodes of the show, this film has a very happy ending.

Rating: 4/4

A Bridge Too Far

"Well, as you know, I always felt we tried to go a bridge too far." A film of epic proportions, with an all-star cast that includes James Caan, Sean Connery, Dirk Bogarde, Michael Caine (who recently had a small role in Inception), Elliott Gould, Ryan O'Neal, Gene Hackman, Sir Laurence Olivier, Liv Ullmann, Robert Redford, and Maximilian Schell (among others), A Bridge Too Far is a visually stunning movie, with large, chaotic, and very gory battle scenes involving tanks, assault boats, jeeps, warplanes, and many soldiers. Based on the Cornelius Ryan book of the same name, the film deals with Operation Market Garden, an attempt by Allied forces to secure vital bridges in Holland from the Germans via airborne assaults. In spite of the large cast, Sean Connery and Michael Caine seem to get the most attention (since the film largely focuses on the British aspect of the battles), although Ryan O'Neal does have a large scene. Although some liberties were obviously taken, the film is actually fairly historically accurate (thanks to the supervision of some of the people who fought in the battle). The film's composer, John Addison, actually fought in the war, and served during Market Garden; his score is hauntingly bittersweet, containing both hints of ironic jingoism and sorrowful remembrance for the dead.
On a side note, the film was, initially, rated "R" because of its graphic violence and profanity. It was lowered to a "PG" upon appeal ("PG-13" did not exist until 1984, 7 years after this movie was released). Not a single image or bit of dialogue was cut to obtain the lower rating.

Rating: 4/4

Stripes

"We're soldiers; but we're American soldiers. We've been kickin' ass for 200 years. We're 10 and 1." There are many ways I could describe Stripes, but I think the best way is this: stupid, vulgar, and hilarious. Bill Murray and Harold Ramis star as a couple of slacker buddies who quit their jobs in New York City and enlist in the U.S. Army, looking for some adventure (and girls to have sex with). Of course, they cause mayhem during basic training, much to the ire of their drill sergeant, Sergeant Hulka (Warren Oates), and their commanding officer, Captain Stillman (John Larroquette). After hooking up with a couple of female military police and (barely) passing graduation, Murray, Ramis, and the rest of their unit are sent to Italy to guard a new fighting vehicle (which looks just like a recreational vehicle, but with hidden weapons). Murray and Ramis "borrow" the vehicle to visit their MP girlfriends in Germany, and chaos ensues, leading to a very satisfying (and silly) conclusion.
John Candy and Judge Reinhold feature in supporting roles (with Reinhold's character getting the stoner jokes left over from when the script was for a Cheech and Chong film).

Rating: 3/4

Judgment at Nuremberg

"One thing about Americans, we're not cut out to be occupiers." Who says that courtroom dramas can't be awesome? With an all-star cast that includes Spencer Tracy, Richard Widmark, Burt Lancaster, Marlene Dietrich, William Shatner, Judy Garland, Maximilian Schell (who won a Best Actor Oscar for his role), Montgomery Clift, and Werner Klemperer, Judgment at Nuremberg is at once thrilling, suspenseful, and highly moving, not to mention somewhat disturbing. After World War II, Nazi criminals were brought to trial for the atrocities committed during the Holocaust. Spencer Tracy plays an American judge who is sent to Germany to oversee one of these trials. Schell and the always excellent Widmark play the defense and prosecuting attorneys respectively, while Judy Garland and Montgomery Clift have small but vital roles as witnesses. Lancaster and Klemperer (ironically playing a non-funny Nazi for once) play defendants, and Dietrich and Shatner have moderately large supporting roles.
Although much of the action takes place in a courtroom, there is excellent camera work to be seen, especially as the whole courtroom seems to revolve around the attorneys as they speak. Everyone in the cast gives an incredible performance, and manages to completely make you forget that the men and women here are just actors and actresses (something which is extremely rare in the world of film, at least in my opinion). Although slightly over three hours long, Judgment at Nuremberg will keep you glued to your seat from the overture to the end credits.

Rating: 4/4

Get Shorty

"They say the smog is the reason we have such beautiful sunsets." A delightfully funny film based on the Elmore Leonard novel of the same name, Get Shorty stars John Travolta as Chili Palmer, a wisecracking loan shark from Miami who goes to Hollywood to collect some debts for a mobster, including from film director Harry Zimm (Gene Hackman). Palmer gets involved in the Hollywood life, falls in love with an actress (Rene Russo), and attempts to get a movie made with Zimm that will star a famous actor (played by Danny DeVito). This is a great little gem, and is good fun for film viewers of all ages (except for young children, as this is rated "R").

Rating: 3.5/4

The Dirty Dozen

"Killing generals could get to be a habit with me." If you've heard me going on about The Expendables, chances are you've heard me throw this title around. THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME! You've got a squad of convicted criminals who all have long prison sentences or death sentences who are given a chance by the U.S. Army to redeem themselves by killing a bunch of German generals attending a meeting in France in advance of D-Day. Lee Marvin plays Major John Reisman, an unconventional, rebellious officer who is assigned to train this "dirty dozen," whose members are played by, among others, Charles Bronson (one of the most badass men of all time), Donald Sutherland (who received a major career boost from his role), Jim Brown (arguably one of the best professional football players of all time), and Telly Savalas, with Ernest Borgnine and Robert Ryan taking up supporting roles.

Rating: 3.5/4

Fuck

"Fuck is like Belgium. People fight over it." Who says documentaries can't be entertaining AND informative? This appropriately-titled film is NOT in any manner pornographic (although a couple of porn stars are interviewed). In fact, although the titular word is used well over 800 times, the commentators come from both sides of the language debate. Ice-T, Pat Boone, Bill Maher, Drew Carey, Hunter S. Thompson (to whom this picture is dedicated), and others offer their thoughts on the use of this colorful, highly useful expletive. Clips from movies that use the word a lot are featured, with special mentions being given to Saving Private Ryan (which has aired on prime-time network television without being edited), Scarface (if you've seen it, you'd understand), and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (mostly because Kevin Smith is one of the interviewees). Creative animations (including one set to the addicting song "Surfin' Bird") make the film just a little bit more fun, while the DVD includes a profanity counter (which is kind of cool, in my opinion).
Although the film was not rated by the MPAA, I think that it would have received a "G" rating if not for the profanity (especially since some of the clips here are from All the President's Men, which made gratuitous use of the word, yet received a "PG" rating) and the gore and violence featured in other clips (such as for Saving Private Ryan). It's great fun, but not for the whole family!

Rating: 3.5/4

Forrest Gump

"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." A very good movie, this probably has received more accolades than it has deserved (the Oscars are a prime example, in which it beat out The Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Fiction in numerous categories, most notably for Best Picture; the former won no awards, and the latter only won one). Still, Tom Hanks' performance is one of his finest, and he definitely deserved his statue for Best Actor.
The film is a bit odd, following the colorful life of a man with an IQ of 75 and a heart of gold, who participates in numerous historical events (thanks to editing technology). He teaches Elvis his famous dance moves, he witnesses (and helps foil) the Watergate break-in, fights in Vietnam (and wins the Medal of Honor and shows his ass wound to President Johnson), and more (especially in the source novel, in which he actually gets to become an astronaut!) Funny, touching, and utterly entertaining, this is, overall, a very solid film.

Rating: 3/4

Metropolis

A pioneering science fiction film, Metropolis is a visual masterpiece. One of the greatest films of the silent era, it is about the struggle between the workers (who live underground) and the rulers, who live a life of luxury above the ground. When a young, beautiful worker named Maria comes up to the surface, a young man named Freder (who is the son of the city's ruler, Joh Frederson) notices her, and falls in love. He switches places with one of the workers to gain access to the underground, where it appears that he may be the "Mediator" between the workers and the rulers. Of course, Frederson will have none of this, and uses the robot created by mad scientist Rotwang to clone Maria and infiltrate the underground.
The influence of Metropolis can be felt even today, especially in films such as Blade Runner and Star Wars (in which C-3PO's design was based on that of Rotwang's robot). Long thought to exist only in a shortened version for many years, a full cut of this German film was found in Argentina (where all things German go to hide) in the summer of 2008. The restored film was shown to the public several months ago, and will be debuting on DVD and BluRay this fall.

Rating: 4/4

Top Gun

"This is what I call a target-rich environment." "Corny" wouldn't even begin to describe Top Gun, but it does work pretty well. A hot-shot pilot in the U.S. Navy, who goes by the callsign "Maverick" (Tom Cruise), gets sent to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program (a.k.a. "TOPGUN"), an honor bestowed upon only the top 1% of Navy fighter pilots. There, he and his Radar Intercept Officer (RIO), "Goose" (Anthony Edwards) train intensively to become masters of their F-14 Tomcat, competing against their rival "Iceman" (Val Kilmer). In the midst of all this, Maverick begins a sexual relationship with a civilian contractor (Kelly McGillis). While at the school, tragedy strikes, but in the end Maverick pulls through (I won't spoil the rest for you).
Made with the cooperation of the U.S. Navy, the film caused an increase in enlistment, and is sometimes seen as a piece of "classic" jingoistic propaganda (albeit a raunchier one).

Rating: 3/4

Apocalypse Now

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning." Perhaps one of the finest American movies ever made, Apocalypse Now is based on the classic Joseph Conrad novella Heart of Darkness, although the setting has been changed from late-19th century Africa to Vietnam and Cambodia in 1969. After a hellish production that lasted for over a year (instead of the projected five months), during which time the cast and crew had to deal with the morbidly obese Marlon Brando, the devastation caused by Typhoon Olga on the Philippine sets, and more, including Martin Sheen's heart attack (which caused further setbacks). As laborious as the shoot sounds, it certainly paid off: the film was a commercial and critical success, and won the coveted Palme d'Or at the 1979 Cannes Film Festival (it actually tied for the prize with The Tin Drum, a German film).
Since many of us will be reading Heart of Darkness in school, I don't want to spoil the plot too much, but suffice it to say that Apocalypse Now is a dazzling film, featuring what is probably the best-known film scene in history, featuring the American air cavalry launching a helicopter assault on a Vietnamese village to Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries." The ending may be confusing, but it is still extremely good.
Apocalypse Now is available in both theatrical (1979) and 2001 "Redux" cuts (the latter features new scenes, and rearranges and deletes others). Both versions are available on DVD, although only the latter is now considered official by director Francis Ford Coppola. Nevertheless, the original cut is considered superior by many (although your mileage may vary).

Rating: 4/4

Caddyshack

"Be the ball." Golf may not (in my eyes) be much of a sport, but Caddyshack sure makes it look like one. Goofy, crass, and consistently entertaining, Caddyshack has aged very well, being just as funny today as it was (presumably) when it first hit theaters 30 years ago. Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe, and, in his film debut, Chuck Rodent (an anamorphic gopher), the plot is split into three intertwining stories: young caddy Danny Noonan (O'Keefe) is working to earn enough money to go to college. Judge Elihu Smails (Knight), meanwhile, feuds with eccentric millionaire Al Czervik (Dangerfield), and groundskeeper Carl Spackler (Murray) attempts to kill an annoying gopher, named Mr. Gopher (Chuck Rodent). Ty Webb (Chase) also competes with Smails in tournaments. Did I mention that Smails has a very slutty niece?
This movie is a personal favorite of mine, even though I'm not the world's biggest golf fan by any means. If you enjoy comedy, you'll love Caddyshack. Just don't watch the sequel, it's supposed to be horrible.

Rating: 3.5/4

The Blues Brothers

"We're on a mission from God." Ah, The Blues Brothers - one of the greatest musical-comedies ever made. "Joliet" Jake Blues (John Belushi) and his soul brother, Elwood Blues, are on a mission to save the orphanage they grew up in from being closed. To do this, they must reunite their old band and make enough money to pay off the orphanage's debt. Unfortunately, they must deal with angry redneck musicians, Illinois Neo-Nazis, and the Chicago police. In the course of the movie, their are no fewer than 2 major car chases, a Guinness world record-winning number of car wrecks, and a standoff featuring police cars, helicopters, and Sherman tanks, as well as numerous song-and-dance numbers with famous musicians, including James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Cab Calloway, and Ray Charles. Carrie Fisher has a small but vital role as Jake's jilted lover, who continuously tries to kill him and his brother through numerous methods, including a rocket launcher, flamethrower, and M16. John Candy also appears near the end of the film, while Paul Reuben, Frank Oz, and Steven Spielberg, and others make cameo appearances.
According to "L'Osservatore Romano" (the official newspaper of the Vatican), The Blues Brothers is a must-see movie for Catholics.

Rating: 4/4

Casablanca

"Round up the usual suspects." Considered one of the greatest movies of all time by many, Casablanca is one of those films that is just timeless. American expatriate Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) owns a nightclub in Casablanca, Morocco, which is under German occupation at the time of the film (December 1941, around the time of Pearl Harbor). Although he claims to be neutral, his neutrality is severely tested when his former lover, Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) arrives with her husband, Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid), who is a Czech Resistance fighter who has escaped from a Nazi concentration camp, attempting to escape to America - something which the Germans do not intend to let happen. Filled with romance, suspense, and wonderful acting, Casablanca is a must-see for everyone.

Rating: 4/4

Three Kings

"I'm talking about millions in Kuwaiti bullion." "You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?" "No, not the little cubes you put in hot water to make soup." Three Kings is basically Kelly's Heroes in the immediate aftermath of the First Gulf War (1991). A squad of American soldiers (George Clooney, Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg, and Spike Jonze) go looking for stolen Kuwaiti gold in Iraq, and end up having to deal with some pretty touchy issues (unlike Kelly's Heroes, which is simply a goofy antiwar movie). Still, Three Kings is extremely funny (if you don't believe me, then just wait until you get a load of Jamie Kennedy's scenes), with lots of clever one-liners and gags (including a cow that...well just watch the movie to find out). In spite of all the laughter, there is quite a lot of drama in this picture, as the soldiers come across endangered Iraqi citizens and rebels against Saddam Hussein. There are also a number of political statements here (and obvious ones, at that).

Rating: 4/4

The Steel Helmet

"Dead man's nothin' but a corpse. No one cares what he is now." Upon its release in 1951, The Steel Helmet was literally the first feature film to come out about the ongoing war in Korea. Directed by combat veteran and cult director Sam Fuller, this film is gritty, violent, realistic, and, most importantly, moving. The premise is simple enough: an American prisoner of war, Sergeant Zack (Gene Evans) escapes from the North Koreans, and is found by a young South Korean boy who decides to follow Zack as he attempts to return to American lines. Along the way, Zack grows fond of the boy and nicknames him "Short Round." The two eventually meet up with an American medic who has also been separated from his unit. Like Zack, he also fought in World War II (albeit in a segregated unit). The trio eventually meet up with a squad of lost American soldiers (including yet another veteran and friend of Zack's). The squad rests for a time in a Buddhist temple, where trouble soon finds them. Although made on a low budget, this is arguably one of the greatest war films ever made, and is engaging and unpredictable from start to finish.

Rating: 98/100

Kelly's Heroes

"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" Kelly's Heroes is...weird. Essentially, a former U.S. Army officer named Kelly (Clint Eastwood) is demoted to private after a botched assault that wasn't his fault. He eventually learns of the location of a massive stash of Nazi gold, equivalent to $16 million dollars (in 1944; it would be much more today). Well, what would you do if you're fighting in a seemingly pointless war in an army that pays you very little? Why, steal the gold, of course!
Assembling a team including the loud, profane, but solid Sergeant "Big Joe" (Telly Savalas) conniving, insulting quartermaster "Crapgame" (Don Rickles), and hippie (!) tank commander Sergeant "Oddball" (whose name needs no explanation), who provides his three M4 Sherman tanks as support to Kelly's infantry (according to Oddball, these Shermans have been modified so as to make their guns look bigger than they really are, and to make them shoot paint so as to make "pretty pictures"). As Kelly and his men smash through German lines, incompetent Major General Colt (Carroll O'Connor) thinks that his army (whose location he somehow doesn't know) is mounting a major offensive. Eventually, the ragtag group finds the gold (guarded by three dreaded Tiger tanks), culminating in a standoff between the final Tiger and Kelly, Big Joe, and Oddball (who are ill-equipped to be taking on a tank, period) in a spoof of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (down to Ennio Morricone-inspired music).
Overall, Kelly's Heroes is a delightful antiwar picture, with an interesting cast that included many actors on the verge of big-time success on television (including Savalas, O'Connor, and Gavin MacLeod, who had a funny role in this film as Oddball's bow machine gun operator Moriarty).

Rating: 87/100

Bullitt

"Frank, we must all compromise." "Bullshit." Steve McQueen is just cool, end of story. Bullitt is just another example of his epic awesomeness. This film features one of the most epic car chases in the history of film, as well as a couple of awesome gunfights (including a showdown in an airport). If you're looking for a well-made thrill ride, this fits the bill. Essentially, Steve McQueen plays an awesome cop (who doesn't always play by the rules, of course) who is assigned to protect a witness who will help bring down his crime-boss brother. Unfortunately, the brother is gunned down while under the protection of one of Bullitt's partners (who is also shot). The corrupt politician who ordered Bullitt to protect the witness, Walter Chalmers (Robert Vaughn) attempts to cause Bullitt to catch hell for the death of the witness. Of course, Bullitt goes to find the real killers. Awesomeness ensues.
The film is on Turner Classic Movies once in a while, so try to catch it there, where it will be completely uncensored and commercial-free.

Rating: 98/100

Pulp Fiction

"And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." Funny, exciting, suspenseful, and incredibly intelligent, Pulp Fiction is one of the greatest American films I've ever seen (nay, it is actually one of the best films I have ever seen, period). If you haven't seen it yet, then you must do so immediately. A great cast (including John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, Uma Thurman, and others) combines with a great script (which actually won it an Academy Award) to create a masterpiece. Even though the story is not in chronological order (and constantly cuts between the different, but intertwining, subplots), it is surprisingly easy to follow. Two hit men, Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield (Travolta and Jackson, respectively) "deal with" various people (and have interesting conversations about all sorts of things, from McDonald's in Europe to television pilots), with Travolta later being assigned to escort Mia Wallace (Thurman), the wife of their gangster boss Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), out for a night on the town (leading to a memorable dance scene at a 1950s diner). Meanwhile, boxer Butch Coolidge (Willis) accidentally kills a man in a fight that he was supposed to lose (as he too is under Marsellus Wallace's control), and must flee to avoid retaliation. Somehow, the plots intertwine and deepen (especially the Travolta/Thurman one), leading up to a very satisfying "ending" (which is actually where the movie technically begins).
Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Christopher Walken, and director Quentin Tarantino have supporting roles in this Palme d'Or-winning film, which received 7 Academy Award nominations (including Best Picture), winning one for its script.

Rating: 100/100

Blazing Saddles

"My name is Jim, but most people call me...Jim." One of the funniest films ever made, Mel Brooks' raunchy classic Blazing Saddles shamelessly spoofs the western genre, in the process becoming a bit of a classic in that genre as well. With a wonderful cast that includes Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Slim Pickens, Harvey Korman, Madeline Kahn, and Brooks himself (in dual roles as both the corrupt/absentminded/horny/stupid governor William J. LePetomane, and as a Yiddish-speaking Native American), and featuring a script penned by (amongst others) Richard Pryor (who appeared in many films with Wilder), this is a true gem.
The movie is about the attempt of the corrupt State Attorney General Hedley Lamarr (not to be confused with actress Hedy Lamarr) to drive the citizens of the town of Rockridge (where everybody has the last name of Johnson) out so he can build railroad tracks through it. To help drive out the citizens, he sends a band of his cronies to attack the citizens, and then sends them a new sheriff. The sheriff, to the citizens' dismay, is black. The film then goes through a dizzying array of gags involving candygrams, Mexian banditos, the Ku Klux Klan, paddle balls, and culminates in the literal destruction of the fourth wall (look it up if you don't know what it is).
On a side note, Madeline Kahn's character is named Lili von Shtupp. To those of you who don't know, "shtupp" is a Yiddish word which describes the act of fornication (guess what word is intended).

Rating: 100/100

MASH

"All right Bub, your fuckin' head is comin' right off."  A darkly funny film that is just as relevant today as it was upon its release 40 years ago, MASH is about the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital unit in the Korean War (1950-1953) and the wacky exploits of its personnel, primarily Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce (Donald Sutherland), Captain "Duke" Forrest (Tom Skerritt), and Captain "Trapper" John McIntyre (Elliott Gould), surgeons all.  Other bizarre characters include Major Frank Burns (Robert Duvall), a religious nut and surgeon who is often the target of pranks performed by Hawkeye, Duke, and Trapper John; Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake (Roger Bowen), the absent-minded commanding officer of the 4077th who either overlooks or (sometimes) actively participates in said pranks; Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan (Sally Kellerman), the unit's chief nurse/mistress of Frank Burns/target of even more pranks; Corporal "Radar" O'Reilly (Gary Burghoff), Blake's trusty aide who probably has ESP (hence his nickname); and many, many others.
This was the first major film directed by Robert Altman, and was a major critical and commercial success upon release, winning an Academy Award for its screenplay.   MASH has often been cited as the first movie EVER to use the word "fuck" in its dialog (due to the improvisational nature of the film), although this is not true (at least two films, both from 1967, used the word, as did a children's cartoon known as Bosko's Picture Show, in 1933), although MASH undoubtedly established the word as acceptable for use in mainstream pictures (as seen by its use in other films released that year, and in the year after).  More importantly, MASH spun off an extremely successful television series which aired from 1972-1983 (with a series finale that drew more viewers than any other television event that was not a Super Bowl).
MASH is available in two versions: the original theatrical release (which is rated "R," and can be found on all current DVD and BluRay releases of the movie), and a theatrical rerelease (which removes some nudity, gore, and profanity, and is rated "PG;" however, this version is only available on a few older videotapes and laserdiscs).  Go out and rent this film; you will not be disappointed.

Rating: 100/100

The Wild Bunch

"If they move, kill 'em!"  This one line seems to sum up Sam Peckinpah's classic western superbly.  One of the best westerns ever made, The Wild Bunch was (and, to an extent, still is) rather controversial for its explicit violence (the use of squibs to simulate blood spurting from a wound was fairly uncommon in 1969).  William Holden (winner of the Best Actor Oscar for Stalag 17, among other awards that included an Emmy), Ernest Borgnine (winner of the Best Actor Oscar for Marty, but perhaps best known as the voice of Mermaid Man), Robert Ryan (The Dirty Dozen, Bad Day at Black Rock), Warren Oates (Stripes) and many others star in the film, which is about a gang of bank robbers (led by Holden) chased by a posse hired by a railroad company that is led by Holden's former comrade (Ryan).  After botching a robbery (which ends in an extremely bloody shootout that catches a local temperance group in the crossfire), Holden and his bunch flee to Mexico, where they become involved with a group of rebels who want American weapons to fight against the government (the film takes place around 1913).  Filled with gunfights, explosions, dramatic chases, and even a train robbery, this is not a film to be missed.  On an interesting side note, an attempted rerelease of the film in 1993 (with 10 minutes of footage restored) was delayed when the film (which had been rated "R" back in 1969) was given an "NC-17" rating, in spite of being much less violent and featuring less nudity than many current "R-rated" films.  The rating was appealed, and the film remained with its "R."

Rating: 100/100

Full Metal Jacket

"Me so HORNY.  Me love you long time."   If you haven't yet seen this masterpiece from Stanley Kubrick, I advise you to go out and purchase/rent/borrow it at once.  Surreal, funny, sad, gross, and downright weird, Kubrick succeeded in making a Vietnam War film that is neither pro-war (like The Green Berets) nor anti-war (like just about every other Vietnam War flick that is not The Green Berets).  R. Lee Ermey, who actually fought in Vietnam and served as a drill sergeant, is downright stunning as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, who pushes the Marine recruits he trains to their absolute limits in an attempt to get them fit for combat.  The first half of the film details this training, and is seen through the eyes of the young man nicknamed "Joker" (Matthew Modine).  Ending (quite literally) with a bang, the outstanding first part leads to an equally engaging second half, which features Joker in Vietnam as a reporter/rifleman.  The film ends with an odd shootout with a Viet Cong sniper, after which Joker and the other marines march through a burning town singing the "Mickey Mouse March."

Rating: 100/100

Hamburger Hill

"Who is it?"  "How the hell do I know?   He's got no goddamn head."   There have been many films made about war, and the Vietnam War is no exception: Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, The Green Berets, Apocalypse Now, and Go Tell the Spartans, to name just a few.   However, while most of these films (with the exception of The Green Berets) have met with commercial and critical success (Platoon won the Best Picture Oscar), Hamburger Hill is often forgotten.  This is unfortunate, as it is a splendid film.  If Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down made your stomach churn, Hamburger Hill really takes the cake (or, rather, makes you lose it) in terms of raw realism (save for the shot of a man's head exploding, if only because it is presented in slow-motion).   The tensions of the soldiers - be they sexual, racial, political, or what-have-you - are constantly portrayed, with an excellent cast adding weight to the film (look for Don Cheadle in a supporting role, especially at the beginning and end).   Based on a true story (the battle for a hill that was such a "meat grinder" that it earned the nickname "Hamburger Hill"), the film has received much praise from veterans of the battle for its realistic battle scenes.   That is good enough for me.

Rating: 84/100

Bad Lieutenant

"You raped a holy thing. You destroyed that young girl. And she forgives you. Ya hear that? She forgives you." No, this is not the watered-down, loosely-related film released a year or two ago that starred Nick Cage. This stars Harvey Keitel, and is a tense, well-acted drama that keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. The biggest flaw here is that the movie is really, really depressing (no witty one-liners here, or epic action sequences). Still, try to see it when it next comes on Independent Film Channel (IFC; if you have Dish Network, it's channel 131). DO NOT rent it from Blockbuster: this version is edited to remove some drug use, which unintentionally removes vital plot elements, making this version confusing to watch.

Rating: 89/100