Piranha 3D

It has been done: Saving Private Ryan meets Beach Party (the old ones, with Frankie Avalon). Piranha 3D combines the beach-babe-bikini "appeal" of those older Disney flicks with the gore of the initial landing scene in Saving Private Ryan. A remake of the 1978 horror/comedy film Piranha (which was itself an affectionate spoof of Jaws), this is not the first remake of the original (which also had a sequel, directed by James Cameron). But enough about those films; let us "dive" into Piranha 3D (actually, it would be best to get OUT of the water).
A couple of million years ago, a type of especially carnivorous and bloodthirsty piranha went extinct. Supposedly. Well, they're back with a vengeance, and they've set their sights on a little lakeside town that is a HUGE spring break destination. Add to this two intertwining plots, lots of babes in bikinis, and enough fake blood and gore to make Sam Peckinpah blush, and you've got one helluva film. The town's sheriff, Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) and her deputy (Ving Rhames) are investigating the death of a local fisherman when they discover his mutilated body. Of course, they do nothing (even though they know something's "fishy"). Sheriff Forester's son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen, the grandson of the Steve McQueen) is given a job as a location scout for a man (Jerry O'Connell) who is filming a Girls Gone Wild-esque film with gorgeous girls Crystal and Danni (Riley Steele and Kelly Brook). His best friend Kelly Driscoll (Jessica Szohr) comes along on the boat for the shoot. Anyways, the piranhas kill a bunch of drunk teenage party-goers, Jake and Kelly hook up, Eli Roth and Richard Dreyfuss make cameo appearances, Jake becomes a hero, Danni and Crystal go swimming naked, and Ving Rhames opens up a MASSIVE can of kick-ass on the piranhas (and by "massive," I mean a shotgun and a motorboat; it's incredibly awesome).
Ving Rhames deserves an Oscar nod for Best Supporting Actor, and this movie deserves an "NC-17" rating (although I don't think any rating would quite fit this film). If you love overly-gory films, then this is your Holy Grail.

Rating: 3/4