Red Dawn (remake)

As Forrest Gump once said, "stupid is as stupid does."  The remake of Red Dawn isn't stupid - it's completely effing retarded (and I do NOT use the "r-word" lightly).

Things I Liked About This Movie:
-The cast was awesome.
-The Korean-American Marine (I think his name was Smith) was basically a massive redneck.

Things I Hated About This Movie:
-Everything else.

The plot (North Korea invades the United States) isn't even halfway realistic (unless you count the video game Homefront, which was the idea of John Milius, the director of the original Red Dawn - Homefront actually offers up a reasonable scenario, at least).  North Korea's military is entirely focused on attacking South Korea, and their entire strategy is, "let's throw as many men and tanks at the South Koreans and Americans and hope that we have more guys than they have bullets."  North Korea's two major allies are Russia (which, in this film, has been taken over by ultra-nationalists [sort of like in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare]) and the People's Republic of China (which was the original enemy in the remake - the film had to be re-edited so as to allow it to be shown in that country, which would not have been possible with the Chinese as the invaders [at least China would have been a more plausible adversary than North Korea]), and even they don't like the North Koreans all that much.  Let's look at some of the highlights of this movie's idiocy:

-An EMP wipes out the communications infrastructure, rendering the U.S. military unable to coordinate, yet allows iPhones to continue to operate.  In reality, many of the computer-based systems in the military are hardened against EMPs, while iPhones are not, so the opposite should be true.
-As a large chunk of the military is deployed overseas, there aren't enough troops left to combat the threat at home.  This actually makes sense.  However, I highly doubt that the only initial defense against an invasion would be some local police officers and a single F-16.
-North Korea invades the west coast, while Russia takes the east coast.  Because obviously, North Korean forces wouldn't be attacked by the South Koreans, the Japanese, and the Australians as they launched an invasion of the U.S., while the Russians could just slip by NATO and France.
-North Korea's military SUCKS.  Big time.  Their equipment is shitty, their soldiers and even their officers are under-trained and underfed, their navy is a complete joke (compared to the rest of their military, which isn't that great, either), and their few allies don't even like them that much.

At least the original Red Dawn was at least halfway plausible - this one makes Harry Potter and Star Wars look like highly-realistic films.  Hell, I bet that even the Lord of the Rings movies are more factual than this piece of crap.*  Don't waste your time.

Rating: 15/100

*Yeah, I haven't seen any of the LOTR movies.  Sue me.