Seven Psychopaths

Martin McDonagh must be a huge Quentin Tarantino fan, because his movie Seven Psychopaths feels quite a lot like a Tarantino film.  When I first saw the preview for it, I immediately thought of Pulp Fiction.  The actual movie really shows its Tarantino roots, but McDonagh steers the movie in its own direction.

Marty (Colin Farrell) is a screenwriter trying to complete his latest script, titled Seven Psychopaths.  His best friend, Billy Bickle (Sam Rockwell), kidnaps dogs for a living with his friend Hans (Christopher Walken), and then return the dogs to their owners to collect the reward money.  The Shih Tzu really hits the fan, however, when Billy and Hans kidnap Bonnie, the beloved dog of gangster Charlie (Woody Harrelson), forcing Billy, Marty, and Hans to get the hell out of Dodge for a while.  To pass time, they work on Marty's screenplay.  The psychopaths include a man who used to be in the Viet Cong, a couple that murdered murderers, and even a Quaker (who probably has the best story of them all).  Overall, the characters (both in the movie proper and Marty's screenplay) are very intriguing, and the film itself tends to be very self-referential.  Walken is absolutely brilliant as Hans, while Rockwell as Billy is absolutely insane.

Offbeat, unpredictable, and very entertaining, Seven Psychopaths is a difficult movie to classify.  It's like Pulp Fiction, but with a little more action/gunplay.  The only other movie that I can really offer up for comparison is The Big Lebowski (you'd have to watch both Lebowski and Psychopaths to understand).  This is definitely one movie that isn't to be missed.

Rating: 91/100

Dogma

"Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in next to soccer."
Kevin Smith is generally known for making vulgar, obnoxious movies that are full of heart.  Dogma is... a vulgar, obnoxious movie that is full of heart, but is also a clever religious satire.  While not as hilarious as his other films (such as Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back), Dogma is pretty funny, and quite compelling, too.  The story is clear (and quite complex), the characters are distinct and likeable, and the acting is excellent.  Who else but Kevin Smith could make a story about two fallen angels' attempt to get back into Heaven (having been expelled for being drunk on the job long, long ago) and the attempts of average woman Bethany Sloane (an abortion clinic worker) and her ragtag band of holy misfits (including Jay and Silent Bob, who are apparently prophets) into a crass comedy?  The real-life bromance between Matt Damon and Ben Affleck is highly evident here, and really adds depth to their characters (Loki [a grigori] and Bartleby [the former Angel of Death], respectively).  In addition to Damon and Affleck, the cast includes Jason Mewes and Smith himself (as Jay and Silent Bob, of course), George Carlin (in the ironic role of a Catholic priest*), Chris Rock, Jason Lee, Alanis Morissette, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, and Alan Rickman round out the cast.  Oh, and a certain someone important gets put into a coma (not telling you who though).

Rating: 86/100

"Beautiful, naked, big-tittied women just don't fall out of the sky."

*I get the feeling that, were this movie made today, there would be some altar boy jokes.

The Lost Battalion

Relatively decent made-for-TV movie based on the true story of a unit of the United States Army that was surrounded by German forces in the Argonne Forest in France during the Meuse-Argonne Offensive in 1918 (during World War I, obviously).  The film is relatively historically accurate (the American soldiers, for instance are seen using M1917 Enfield rifles, which were more common than the standard-issue M1903 Springfield), although there are probably a number of goofs (I'm not an expert on the battle, so I wouldn't know for certain what they are).  Overall, though, the film is adequate: adequate script, adequate directing, adequate acting, good sets, costumes, and armaments.  Oh, and the film doesn't drag on too long, and the gunshot effects (specifically the blood that squirts out of wounds) gives a certain cinematic flair that harkens back to movies like Bullitt and The Wild Bunch.  A good watch if you like war movies or historical dramas, but nothing to write home about.

Rating: 70/100

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

I love Will Ferrell.  He's a terrific actor, and extremely funny - qualities which are prominently displayed in Anchorman.  Ron Burgundy (Ferrell) is the anchorman of a local San Diego news station.  However, his world gets turned upside down with the arrival of a sexy new reporter (Christina Applegate), with whom Burgundy soon falls in love (obviously).  And of course, there's normal news anchor stuff, like Ron's relationship with Baxter (his dog), his news team's rivalry with other San Diego news teams (which culminates in one of the movie's most hilarious/most violent moments), and the quirkiness of the rest of Ron's news team (including Paul Rudd and, most notably, Steve Carrell as a dimwitted weatherman).

While not a movie for everyone (i.e. people who don't like Will Ferrell will absolutely hate it), Anchorman is a wonderful film, and is easily one of Ferrell's most memorable.

Rating: 90/100

The Expendables 2

There's only one thing to do when you make a successful movie that is the ultimate love letter to action movies: do it again!  The Expendables 2 is pretty much The Expendables all over again: Barney Ross (Stallone) and co. work for Mr. Church (Bruce Willis), and go and shoot people and blow stuff up.  The main difference this time around is the cast: Bruce Willis and Ahnold (in the role of Trench) get bigger roles, and Chuck Norris joins in on the fun (for better or for worse).  There's also newcomers Maggie (Yu Nan), a Chinese tech genius (and all-around badass) who Mr. Church sends along with Barney's team to retrieve some valuable data, and Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth), a crackerjack young sniper who served with the U.S. Army in Afghanistan.  Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a cold, ruthless, possibly Russian villain.  I honestly don't know why they even bothered with a plot; it's basically porn (something which Stallone should be very familiar with) for action-movie junkies.  Basically, the movie is a cacophony of blood spurts, fiery explosions, gunfire, and one-liners, with a tank thrown in for good measure.

This movie isn't high art; it's good, violent fun.  It's cliched, and it's proud of that fact.  The score tells you how to feel (although the poppy oldies music and classic rock are rather jarring, albeit awesome), the bad guys are piss-poor shots (they must have gone to the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksman Academy) and the good guys never run out of bullets when they're mowing down mooks (except when they run out for the sake of dramatic tension).  Oh, and there's a Chuck Norris fact, as well as references to many of the stars' past films (including Rambo, Terminator, Die Hard, and Good Guys Wear Black).  Still, I have a few problems with this movie:

-The profanity.  Namely, there's very, very little (even compared to the first Expendables movie, which didn't have all that much to begin with).  Nobody drops the f-bomb (supposedly because of Chuck Norris being a conservative Christian and all that crap*), even Bruce Willis (if you've seen Die Hard, you'll understand).
-Jet Li.  He only appears at the beginning of the movie before returning to China.  It's kind of a letdown.
-CGI blood.  For God's sake, use packets filled with red dye, not that fake-looking computer-generated crap.
-All the badasses who didn't appear in the film, but should have (I'll list them in a moment).

Other than that, I really liked this movie.

Rating: 78/100

And now, the list of people not appearing in this movie:
-Clint Eastwood (although I've heard that Stallone wants him for Expendables 3)
-Justin Bieber (I thought it would be cool to see him get killed in a very gruesome way)
-Jackie Chan
-Lee Marvin (he's dead)
-Bruce Lee (he's dead, but I'm pretty sure he can come back to life, sort of like Jesus)
-John Wayne (again, dead)
-William Holden (dead)
-Ernest Borgnine (dead, and just recently, to boot)
-Jim Brown
-Will Smith
-Matt Damon
-Nicolas Cage (who Stallone actually tried to get in the movie)
-Antonio Banderas (offered a role, but had to turn it down due to prior commitments)
-Taylor Lautner (a.k.a. the only actor from Twilight that I actually like/has any talent)(Stallone apparently considered him for the role that went to Hemsworth)
-Lucy Liu
-Samuel L. Jackson
-David Carradine (dead... but what a way to go!)
-Mark Hamill

*Chuck Norris DID appear in Dodgeball, which had the word (used, in fact, to describe Mr. Norris himself), so I have no idea why he was so anal about swearing in this movie.

The Campaign

I like Will Ferrell.  I like Zach Galifianakis.  I was thrilled to learn that they would be working together on a movie.  The Campaign lives up to expectations - and then some.  While it may appear to the untrained eye as a stupid, simplistic, crude, and vulgar depiction of American politics, it's actually... a stupid, simplistic, crude, and vulgar depiction of American politics.  It's also hilarious, and right on target.  Ferrell and Galifianakis (yes, I had to look up how to spell his name) are perfect as candidates for the U.S. Congress, with Galifianakis stealing the show as the bizarre Marty Huggins.  The film, in spite of its crudeness, was also very touching,* and very timely as well (seeing as how we are about to choose between Obama and Rmoney [sorry, I meant "Romney"] - or, as I like to call them, Barack Obama and Raging Rich Asshole).  Even if you don't like Will Ferrell, you can still enjoy this movie (even my mother, who is not a fan of the man, thought the movie was actually pretty good).  So what if it's not All the President's Men?  It doesn't need to be - it just needs to be good.  And it's damned good.

Rating: 82/100


*I'm serious (actually, I'm Brandon, but I'm also not joking).

Killer Joe

For quite a while now, I've believed that Matthew McConaughey is an underrated actor.  Just because someone is in a lot of fluffy crowd-pleasers doesn't mean that they can't act.  I first opened my eyes to McConaughey when I saw Tropic Thunder, and my belief was further reinforced through A Time to Kill.  But it's Killer Joe that really seals the deal.  Here, McConaughey plays "Killer" Joe Cooper, a Texas cop (actually, a detective with the Dallas Police Department) who has a side business: he kills people.  When a young man (Emile Hirsch) needs money to pay off some drug debts, he comes up with a crazy idea: have his mother killed, and collect her life insurance money (which is apparently $50,000).  His white trash family (who probably define white trash) - father, sister, and stepmother - think it's a good idea (the mother is apparently a real bitch), and they hire none other than Killer Joe himself to do the dirty deed.  He demands $25,000 upfront - which can't be paid.  Instead, he takes collateral, in the form of little sister Dottie (who is portrayed as possibly being underage - I really can't tell how old she's supposed to be).  And here lies the point where the feces impact the fan.
The film contains many, many uncomfortable moments (I found myself shifting around in my seat quite often - something which I do not normally do at the movies), and McConaughey's performance sent chills down my spine (the theater I went to, while very, very nice, was also rather warm).  I must say, McConaughey's performance ranks as one of the best that I've ever seen - and I've seen some damn good acting in my life.  While the movie certainly earns its NC-17 rating (it really is NOT for everyone), it really isn't a bad movie at all.  Directed by William Friedkin (best known for The Exorcist and The French Connection back in the 1970s, the latter of which netted him an Oscar for Best Director) and based on a play by Pulitzer Prize winner Tracy Letts, Killer Joe is one of the most chilling, twisted, disturbing films I have ever laid eyes on - and also one of the best.

Rating: 99/100